“Tonight we’re going to give what his parents and the legal system should have done years ago,” host Kevin Hart said. “We’re going to give this boy an ass-whoopin.’”
“Ebola patients hear about ‘Bieber fever’ and say, ‘I’m gonna go ahead and ride this one out.’”
“Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now,” comedian Jeff Ross joked.
“Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”
You already know how that story ends.